Before I continue on my cultural rant, I have to share a few other things that are not connected consciously, though I could make and argument if I so wished. I was walking home from having a beer, and much like other days, I heard the sound of brakes locking up on my busy street of Aini. I looked just in time to see the bottom half of a man hurtling through space, his white sneakers standing out in stark contrast to the dark, night air. I focused on the shoes, spellbound, as they danced through the air as if they were connected to no body and were being manipulated like a marionette's feet. This lasted for a long time and the feet moved in slow motion. Suddenly my hypnotic trance was broken by the sickening thunk of a plummetting body striking the pavement. Then a bit of shock set in. Surely this man was dead. No one could fly so high and so far without dying upon impact. I edged closer to the scene, now about 10 yards away.
Several people were upon the fallen man before I could get there. These were other jaywalkers, like the man, who were luckier than he. What did they do? They, like the other incident I spoke of, lifted him to his feet one leg dragging behind him as if he had no control of it, and they forced his bodt into the backseat of the vehicle that had just struck him. I couldn't watch any more. I wanted to run out and check for vital signs and all that first aid jazz that I had learned from several classes in the past, but that is not their way. They are, apparently ignorant of western first response kinds of things.
Reflecting about the incident has made me wonder if we in the west are correct in the way we respond to incidents or if Tajiks really understand that to get the man to the hospital as soon as possible is much better than to do such things as perform CPR and call for an ambulance. And maybe this is because no one is trained in CPR and so would do more damage than not to a victim and regardless of what they might do when moving a victim quickly and roughly, it is still better than what they have to offer him in the way of assistance.
In order to look at this further, I needed to look at other things people do on a daily basis that are contradictory to the west. One example is that they believe cold water is unhealthy because it is unnnatural. Another is the belief that you must have at least one bowl of soup a day to ward of illness. Neither of these things is logical prima facie, but I think they can be explained simply. Water here is absolute poison. For a long time people have had to boil water before drinking it. For them drinking it hot and warm is connected to a time before bottled water and so, what was done for health is still applied today though there is no longer a logical connection that they could explain. The soup thing might be connected to the dearth of vegetables in Russian meals that extended to the Soviet states. People just eat meat and potatoes and bread, and perhaps helpful mothers knew that the only they could get their sons and husbands to eat somewhat healthily, was to dump them into soups. If we look at these two possibilities, there is some truth in the superstitions.
Back to the flying sneakers: There is so much ignorance about western methods here and about the world in general and anything sciencey, that it makes sense to take the mountain to Mohammed. No one can help the victim and so understanding their lack of understanding, they realize they cannot do a thing except get a victim to someone who can. And so, are they really ignorant?
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Friday, October 21, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Culture as an Excuse for Things Other Cultures Don't Like
This is a sore subject with me, though I must admit that before I was actually immersed in a foreign culture, in the same way that a disposed-of feminine hygiene product is immersed in the sewage upon flushing, I thought I could objectively look at things and just accept them. I couldn't and I can't.
Culturally, white America lacks. If anything there is kind of a culture of money-making with tons of little sub-cultures thrown in that act as breaks in the monotony of earning a living. About the worst culture we have in the States is the obsession with sports and the absolute stupid loyalty to teams who care nary a whit for us, and whose jerseys and biographies we purchase as if they are somehow important. Yet, this cultural thing is pretty mild if ultimately socially ridiculous.The American marketing machine has somehow made the blind followers become ...uh.... blinder? And so, something as unimportant as professional and collegiate sports has been marketted to be "cool", and so it must be, and so people follow. We cultists know the real truth, but we ain't sharing.
Back to the point... maybe. So, everything that is annoying to me, a westerner in Asian "cultures" is easily explained as "cultural" and therefore either acceptable or something that an ignorant foreigner couldn't possibly fathom. Examples: Spitting. Men spit all the time everywhere. How many? I don't know, but I will conservatively say 48.7%, almost as if I read it in a study somewhere. Why do they spit? No one knows. They fumble for answers and finally say something about phlegm build-up or sinus problems, but the mere fumbling for an answer means they don't know and they just spit because they spit. That leaves culture as the only possible reason; Horseplay: The Tajik boys spend all day insulting and beating on each other. It is not only acceptable. It is considered a good thing. OK, so it carries over into the classroom, onto the streets, and
Into any public place they happen to be, but boys will be boys, right? At my school (and this just slays me), all the girls had an afterschool meeting where they were told how girls must behave. They cannot be within a meter of a boy. They cannot be alone with a boy. They cannot push and hit or even shake hands because-and this is the reason they were told- because they are girls and they cannot do what boys do. It is ill-mannered for them. For boys this is fine and the boys who spend really all day insulting each other's mothers and beating and caressing each other, had no behavioral meeting.
I don't want to suggest that such things are due to Islamic upbringing as I am sure there are many Muslims out there who believe that women are just as capable as men and that the whole idea of roles is old-fashioned and inapplicable to today's societies. What am I then left with? Oh yeah. it is "culture".
End of Part 1
Culturally, white America lacks. If anything there is kind of a culture of money-making with tons of little sub-cultures thrown in that act as breaks in the monotony of earning a living. About the worst culture we have in the States is the obsession with sports and the absolute stupid loyalty to teams who care nary a whit for us, and whose jerseys and biographies we purchase as if they are somehow important. Yet, this cultural thing is pretty mild if ultimately socially ridiculous.The American marketing machine has somehow made the blind followers become ...uh.... blinder? And so, something as unimportant as professional and collegiate sports has been marketted to be "cool", and so it must be, and so people follow. We cultists know the real truth, but we ain't sharing.
Back to the point... maybe. So, everything that is annoying to me, a westerner in Asian "cultures" is easily explained as "cultural" and therefore either acceptable or something that an ignorant foreigner couldn't possibly fathom. Examples: Spitting. Men spit all the time everywhere. How many? I don't know, but I will conservatively say 48.7%, almost as if I read it in a study somewhere. Why do they spit? No one knows. They fumble for answers and finally say something about phlegm build-up or sinus problems, but the mere fumbling for an answer means they don't know and they just spit because they spit. That leaves culture as the only possible reason; Horseplay: The Tajik boys spend all day insulting and beating on each other. It is not only acceptable. It is considered a good thing. OK, so it carries over into the classroom, onto the streets, and
Into any public place they happen to be, but boys will be boys, right? At my school (and this just slays me), all the girls had an afterschool meeting where they were told how girls must behave. They cannot be within a meter of a boy. They cannot be alone with a boy. They cannot push and hit or even shake hands because-and this is the reason they were told- because they are girls and they cannot do what boys do. It is ill-mannered for them. For boys this is fine and the boys who spend really all day insulting each other's mothers and beating and caressing each other, had no behavioral meeting.
I don't want to suggest that such things are due to Islamic upbringing as I am sure there are many Muslims out there who believe that women are just as capable as men and that the whole idea of roles is old-fashioned and inapplicable to today's societies. What am I then left with? Oh yeah. it is "culture".
End of Part 1
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
I Have Become a God!
Yesterday I announced that I was leaving DIS, which should be Dushanbe International School, but is actually Did I Stutter? I named it that because the animals yelp so much all day that I have to repeat myself at least 10 fold in every class. The boys touch each other and then try and touch the girls and you don't want to know ehere their hands have been!
With grade 9 class, the most hated group in the school, I announced that I would be giving homework every night and quizzes the next day and that this would go on until I leave so that the bright students...OK, not bright, but somewhat, willing students will at least do the homework and thus gain some knowledge and that some would fail if I had my way about it because I know they won't do the homework. I also explained that the better students would get extra points on the quizzes and that the ones who talk too much will just fail as I had planned. I specifically called out two boys and explained to them that my goal before I leave is to have them fail if possible so that their parents will realize they have wasted money on them and send them to a public school so that the teacher after me doesn't have to deal with them. They got angry, but I explained that I am kind of like God in that I can't be fired and unlike them, I have an American passport so that I can go anywhere I choose while they are relegated to Kyrgystan and Dubai, though to be fair, Kyrgystan isn't so bad despite the squalor. They had no answer to that. An answer would have required thought.
Tomorrow, I will be kind to the little kids unless they piss me off. I found out today that I can throw a 10th grader's full packpack 40 feet down a corridor. It makes me wonder what I can do with a with a briefcase and a little whirling hammer throw action.
With grade 9 class, the most hated group in the school, I announced that I would be giving homework every night and quizzes the next day and that this would go on until I leave so that the bright students...OK, not bright, but somewhat, willing students will at least do the homework and thus gain some knowledge and that some would fail if I had my way about it because I know they won't do the homework. I also explained that the better students would get extra points on the quizzes and that the ones who talk too much will just fail as I had planned. I specifically called out two boys and explained to them that my goal before I leave is to have them fail if possible so that their parents will realize they have wasted money on them and send them to a public school so that the teacher after me doesn't have to deal with them. They got angry, but I explained that I am kind of like God in that I can't be fired and unlike them, I have an American passport so that I can go anywhere I choose while they are relegated to Kyrgystan and Dubai, though to be fair, Kyrgystan isn't so bad despite the squalor. They had no answer to that. An answer would have required thought.
Tomorrow, I will be kind to the little kids unless they piss me off. I found out today that I can throw a 10th grader's full packpack 40 feet down a corridor. It makes me wonder what I can do with a with a briefcase and a little whirling hammer throw action.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
I'll Vouchsafe you a Vagina
No I won't. This will be a long post, so get some pocorn or a spew bucket:
I'm struggling through the learning of Tajik. Some things are simple and logical while others are crazy. If I need to speak with a Tajik, I prefer to send a text message so that I can use my dictionary to find the words I lack. I find the written language in the cyrillic script is much easier than having to decipher gibberish and formulate my own on the spot to spew back. It was while using my 1014 page Standard English-Tajik dictionary that I came upon the word vouchsafe and realized that the Tajik word for vagina was not in the book. I scanned through the 'P' section and also was dismayed to see that penis was also missing. If I get some sort of insect bite on my penis and have to tell the receptionist why I am at the doctor's office, I will now have to show rather than tell, a proposition that will surely get me arrested.
Other words that are in the book are: juvenescence, juxtaposition, semasiology, and titmouse. Of course I have come to the only possible conclusion: Vaginas and penises don't exist in Tajikistan. I want to take that a step further and suggest that these things don't exist in the Muslim world much like they didn't exist in the Catholic world of 50-100 years ago. Just as all things sexual were not discussed in the good, Christian family, so is it in the good, Muslim family. Now lest you become offended at my ensuing rant, let me assure you that it is meant for most religion in developing nations, and I will cease to use the words 'Muslim and Islam' though this world is my point of reference.
Women are the caretakers of the family, and whether or not this is nurture or nature, I'm not here to argue though I suspect it is a bit of both. There must be something innate in the females of most species who carry and bear the children or the eggs and are then emotionally attached to the progeny because of the process. In the past in all societies this was fine, as the men had their roles of killers of meat and men and couldn't be arsed to try and breast feed as well. In the MEDCs (More Economically Developed Countries (geography teacher, meh!)), the idea of the woman as the sole caretaker of the chiildren still exists, but is a choice more than a social more. This caretaking extends to immediate safety concerms as well, one of which is the security of the immortal soul, and it is usually left to the woman to make sure the kids get the proper religious brainwashing, and that all formalities are adhered to as much as possible. Men tend to not care as much, but if forced, will just kind of go along with it. I believe this idea of spiritual security is also innate and connected to the overall idea of caretaking, as misguided as religion might be. Are you with me? Good.
Let's take this over to the Middle East and Central Asia where we are innundated with LEDCs (Less Economically Developed Countries) who still adhere to the man as breadwinner and woman as complete caretaker, to include cooking, cleaning, religious indoctrination, and ritual and culture maintainence. They do all marriage preparation and the buying of anything school-related. In fact, the fathers are so uninvolved that the children rarely talk to them. In the meantime, the men spend a lot of their free time drinking with other men and see the occasional (weekly) prostitute, and it's ok. They even often surprise their wives by coming home with a second wife, something that is never appreciated, but always allowed by religion.
How do I know about such things? My students tell me and men tell me. I have tried to become friends with perhaps 8 Kazakh men and 3 Tajik men. Once they think I am ok and they want to do more than just practice English with me, they always want to take the next step of getting drunk and seeing prostitutes together. Together? Yep. Just like Koreans do as well. It is a way for men to become friends. But, isn't that against the Holy Book you ask? No, not if it's justified like this: The men don't go see Muslim prostitutes. They find Russian girls because they are not Muslim and therefore, not exactly human according to their interpretation of the Good Book. As of now, I am no longer seeking Tajik male companionship.
Wow! This is a crazy world, right? No. It makes perfect sense that countries who don't talk about sex and who don't even have words for penis and vagina in their dictionaries, must have a way to get around a quite enjoyable and very natural human function that is considered taboo. Wives must be virgins when they marry, but men aren't expected to be. After they marry, they can safely say that they don't cheat on their wives because they are not cheating with other believers, so it doesn't count. It is much the same as in Saudi Arabia amd the Emirates where a preponderance of homosexual behavior goes on for both genders because unmarried men and women cannot be seen together in public, but it's OK for Rahim to spend the night at Achmed's house exploring same gender sexual contingencies. I am not against this at all. The problem is, those people doing these things are religiously against such activities but have changed the definitions so that they can no longer be defined by western terms. Denial isn't lying if such things are defined differently.
Where was I? Oh yeah, why does this continue? Here's the theory: For the men, life is good. Drinking and carousing is acceptable for them but not for the women who must be placed on a pedestal and maintained by the men. On top of this, when they die, they are given a passel of voluptuous virgins. Women, who are really the religious faithful and are responsible for passing such beliefs on to the children, know only these beliefs they have been taught, and to reject them would be a complete loss of that component of caretaking that deals with salvation, only they don't get any virgins when the die despite having to have been one when they got married. Why would men want to change this power structure?
There's still hope. I'm in the process of writing a letter to Abdusalom Mamadnazrov, Tajik/English dictionary writer extraordinaire, asking him to put vagina and penis in the next edition of the dictionary. That ought to get the ball rolling. Wish me luck.
I'm struggling through the learning of Tajik. Some things are simple and logical while others are crazy. If I need to speak with a Tajik, I prefer to send a text message so that I can use my dictionary to find the words I lack. I find the written language in the cyrillic script is much easier than having to decipher gibberish and formulate my own on the spot to spew back. It was while using my 1014 page Standard English-Tajik dictionary that I came upon the word vouchsafe and realized that the Tajik word for vagina was not in the book. I scanned through the 'P' section and also was dismayed to see that penis was also missing. If I get some sort of insect bite on my penis and have to tell the receptionist why I am at the doctor's office, I will now have to show rather than tell, a proposition that will surely get me arrested.
Other words that are in the book are: juvenescence, juxtaposition, semasiology, and titmouse. Of course I have come to the only possible conclusion: Vaginas and penises don't exist in Tajikistan. I want to take that a step further and suggest that these things don't exist in the Muslim world much like they didn't exist in the Catholic world of 50-100 years ago. Just as all things sexual were not discussed in the good, Christian family, so is it in the good, Muslim family. Now lest you become offended at my ensuing rant, let me assure you that it is meant for most religion in developing nations, and I will cease to use the words 'Muslim and Islam' though this world is my point of reference.
Women are the caretakers of the family, and whether or not this is nurture or nature, I'm not here to argue though I suspect it is a bit of both. There must be something innate in the females of most species who carry and bear the children or the eggs and are then emotionally attached to the progeny because of the process. In the past in all societies this was fine, as the men had their roles of killers of meat and men and couldn't be arsed to try and breast feed as well. In the MEDCs (More Economically Developed Countries (geography teacher, meh!)), the idea of the woman as the sole caretaker of the chiildren still exists, but is a choice more than a social more. This caretaking extends to immediate safety concerms as well, one of which is the security of the immortal soul, and it is usually left to the woman to make sure the kids get the proper religious brainwashing, and that all formalities are adhered to as much as possible. Men tend to not care as much, but if forced, will just kind of go along with it. I believe this idea of spiritual security is also innate and connected to the overall idea of caretaking, as misguided as religion might be. Are you with me? Good.
Let's take this over to the Middle East and Central Asia where we are innundated with LEDCs (Less Economically Developed Countries) who still adhere to the man as breadwinner and woman as complete caretaker, to include cooking, cleaning, religious indoctrination, and ritual and culture maintainence. They do all marriage preparation and the buying of anything school-related. In fact, the fathers are so uninvolved that the children rarely talk to them. In the meantime, the men spend a lot of their free time drinking with other men and see the occasional (weekly) prostitute, and it's ok. They even often surprise their wives by coming home with a second wife, something that is never appreciated, but always allowed by religion.
How do I know about such things? My students tell me and men tell me. I have tried to become friends with perhaps 8 Kazakh men and 3 Tajik men. Once they think I am ok and they want to do more than just practice English with me, they always want to take the next step of getting drunk and seeing prostitutes together. Together? Yep. Just like Koreans do as well. It is a way for men to become friends. But, isn't that against the Holy Book you ask? No, not if it's justified like this: The men don't go see Muslim prostitutes. They find Russian girls because they are not Muslim and therefore, not exactly human according to their interpretation of the Good Book. As of now, I am no longer seeking Tajik male companionship.
Wow! This is a crazy world, right? No. It makes perfect sense that countries who don't talk about sex and who don't even have words for penis and vagina in their dictionaries, must have a way to get around a quite enjoyable and very natural human function that is considered taboo. Wives must be virgins when they marry, but men aren't expected to be. After they marry, they can safely say that they don't cheat on their wives because they are not cheating with other believers, so it doesn't count. It is much the same as in Saudi Arabia amd the Emirates where a preponderance of homosexual behavior goes on for both genders because unmarried men and women cannot be seen together in public, but it's OK for Rahim to spend the night at Achmed's house exploring same gender sexual contingencies. I am not against this at all. The problem is, those people doing these things are religiously against such activities but have changed the definitions so that they can no longer be defined by western terms. Denial isn't lying if such things are defined differently.
Where was I? Oh yeah, why does this continue? Here's the theory: For the men, life is good. Drinking and carousing is acceptable for them but not for the women who must be placed on a pedestal and maintained by the men. On top of this, when they die, they are given a passel of voluptuous virgins. Women, who are really the religious faithful and are responsible for passing such beliefs on to the children, know only these beliefs they have been taught, and to reject them would be a complete loss of that component of caretaking that deals with salvation, only they don't get any virgins when the die despite having to have been one when they got married. Why would men want to change this power structure?
There's still hope. I'm in the process of writing a letter to Abdusalom Mamadnazrov, Tajik/English dictionary writer extraordinaire, asking him to put vagina and penis in the next edition of the dictionary. That ought to get the ball rolling. Wish me luck.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Hot Water and High Voltage
This is the second time that my hot water heater isn't working. The first time, I explained to the electricians that the heating element wasn't working. After two days, they determined I was wrong and that there was a problem with the release valve that allows reserve water to enter the tank from a reservoir on the roof when the tank water is used up. I couldn't explain that that was a stupid idea that had nothing to do with the heat, but I couldn't as I haven't enough Russian nor Tajik to do so. The valve was replaced and I still had no hot water. On the 5th day without water, they decided it was the heating element, so they called in someone who could fix it on the 6th day. On the 7th day, they rested.
They really didn;t fix the problem which is connected to the tank being old, worn-out and the temperature gauge not working. Yet, during the period of hotwaterlessness, I became adept at using an electric water kettle to fulfill all toilet needs. I shaved with one kettle of water, bathed with a second, and washed my hair with a 3rd. By the 6th day, I could do this in about half an hour's time. I owe that rapidity of toilet-making to the 220 volt electrical system they have here. I realize that it is unsafe and will probably kill me with all the makeshift wiring they have in my flat, but a kettle of water takes less than 2 minutes to heat up sufficiently for shaving. It dawned on me that this was exactly why these backwards, frightening, and filthy countries use such voltage. They need hot water quickly because they can't expect their water tanks to heat up. In this case, the egg came precisely because of the chicken.
My water went out again yesterday. I'm hoping to cut my bathing process down to 23 minutes by the time they get it repaired. Stay tuned...
They really didn;t fix the problem which is connected to the tank being old, worn-out and the temperature gauge not working. Yet, during the period of hotwaterlessness, I became adept at using an electric water kettle to fulfill all toilet needs. I shaved with one kettle of water, bathed with a second, and washed my hair with a 3rd. By the 6th day, I could do this in about half an hour's time. I owe that rapidity of toilet-making to the 220 volt electrical system they have here. I realize that it is unsafe and will probably kill me with all the makeshift wiring they have in my flat, but a kettle of water takes less than 2 minutes to heat up sufficiently for shaving. It dawned on me that this was exactly why these backwards, frightening, and filthy countries use such voltage. They need hot water quickly because they can't expect their water tanks to heat up. In this case, the egg came precisely because of the chicken.
My water went out again yesterday. I'm hoping to cut my bathing process down to 23 minutes by the time they get it repaired. Stay tuned...
First Aid in Dushanbe
Yesterday while I was sitting in my comfy chair, I heard a noise that sounded like an axe thunking into a tree. I ran to my window (really it was more of a two step sidle) and looked out. I saw a car stopped in front of a Tajik man who was on the ground. He was writhing around while clutching his briefcase with a death grip (everyone has a briefcase) as a mob surrounded the offending vehicle, not allowing it to take off. After a few seconds, one man from the mob stepped out into the busy street, the busiest in Dushanbe, and flagged down a vehicle wjose driver said a few words and sped on. The second behicle did stop and to my horror, the semi-conscious victim was hefted to his feet and pushed toward the open car door. He almost fell, and I imagined that it was due to either a massive concussion or the pain from several broken ribs piercing his spleen and other organs. Perhaps it was a bit of both. He didn't fall because several hands didn't allow that to happen as the men kept pushing him along, forcing him into the backseat of the car. To his credit, he never dropped his briefcase, and I surmise it was because his hand was crushed around the handle after the car smashed him into the ground, and to be fair, there was no way for it to fall away.
A policeman in a civilian car stopped in front of the vehicle, and just as fast as it happened, it was over. The crowd dispersed immediately and the victim was on his way somewhere in a comandeered vehicle. The whole process took less than a minute and the loud, racous mob that was one harmonious swarm of bees, was quickly back to individual drone units on the lookout for nectar. Remind me not to get hurt.
A policeman in a civilian car stopped in front of the vehicle, and just as fast as it happened, it was over. The crowd dispersed immediately and the victim was on his way somewhere in a comandeered vehicle. The whole process took less than a minute and the loud, racous mob that was one harmonious swarm of bees, was quickly back to individual drone units on the lookout for nectar. Remind me not to get hurt.
Something Retarded
This is my first post, but it takes place beginning about 1 month ago. At Dushanbe International School, there is a little canteen (food shop) located just inside the entryway. It is full of things bad for the kids like chocolate and ice cream and stupid toasted sandwiches that are nothing but half a circle of bread with fake cheese in them. Just like in Korea, toasted sandwiches are called "toast". If you see "toast" on a menu, it won't be bread with butter and jam on the side. It will be a toasted sandwich with anybody's guess inside of it.
The one thing the canteen has that I need because I am yelling at stupid Tajik boys all day to shut up and to stop trying to alternately kill each other and then caress each other (sometimes these are hard to distinguish from each other), are bottles of spring water at about 30 cents apiece. Unfortunately, the woman always forgets to put them in the refrigerator so I always buy two or more warm bottles a day. She gives me a look of 'I'm so stupid to have forgotten again', and I just accept the tepid water and go. Finally, after more than 5 weeks of seemingly forgetting to chill the water, I finally, in my halting Tajik, asked her why she doesn't do as I ask. She told me (with the help of a child) that it was for my health, that cold water is bad for me. I looked at the ignorant child who shrugged and said, "She's right.", and then I told them they were both nuts, which they are. I told the director that I want cold water and he agreed to explain to the ignorant, hill-dwelling, toothless hag that cold water is my perogative. It's a Tajik thing.
The one thing the canteen has that I need because I am yelling at stupid Tajik boys all day to shut up and to stop trying to alternately kill each other and then caress each other (sometimes these are hard to distinguish from each other), are bottles of spring water at about 30 cents apiece. Unfortunately, the woman always forgets to put them in the refrigerator so I always buy two or more warm bottles a day. She gives me a look of 'I'm so stupid to have forgotten again', and I just accept the tepid water and go. Finally, after more than 5 weeks of seemingly forgetting to chill the water, I finally, in my halting Tajik, asked her why she doesn't do as I ask. She told me (with the help of a child) that it was for my health, that cold water is bad for me. I looked at the ignorant child who shrugged and said, "She's right.", and then I told them they were both nuts, which they are. I told the director that I want cold water and he agreed to explain to the ignorant, hill-dwelling, toothless hag that cold water is my perogative. It's a Tajik thing.
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